Smex Ed

It’s back-to-school season around here, and as the kids head off to school, it’s time to do a little education of our own.

Yep. We’re going back to school, but you won’t find this discussion in your University syllabus or your kid’s “go-home” folder. 

In this little mini-course, we’re talking all about the benefits of masturbation.

I touched on this topic in a previous article, but we’re going to dive even deeper here. 

Let’s start with the basics. 

Masturbation can have a huge range of benefits for women (and men), both physically and emotionally – if you’re willing to explore it. 

So first and foremost, we need to get something clear: Masturbation is a normal and healthy sexual activity. It’s not wrong, sinful or shameful to masturbate. (If you’re feeling like it is, you may want to start there and seek out the support of a therapist or counselor that can help you work through those feelings first.)

If you’re uncomfortable with the idea or topic of masturbation, even though you know it’s a natural part of healthy sexual exploration, you’re not alone. Female masturbation, particularly, is often seen as more “taboo” than male self-pleasure. It’s rarely talked about or addressed in sex education classes and when we see women masturbating in mainstream media, it’s generally portrayed as something that’s done for a man’s pleasure rather than her own. 

Here’s the thing, though. Your desire and pleasure is just as important as any man’s. You are allowed to explore your own body. Period. (And around here, we highly encourage it!)

Just keep in mind that not everyone masturbates in the same way, or at the same frequency, and what works for someone else may not work for you. But once you’re comfortable with the idea of integrating masturbation into your regular routine, you’ll start to reap some of the potential benefits. 

One of my favorites is stress reduction. As a single mama to two nearly-tween boys who’ve experienced trauma and deal with anxiety, stress relief tools are a must, and having masturbation in my stress-reduction tool box is a lifesaver. It’s quick and easy and feels oh-so-good, not to mention that it releases those good old endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, and reduces the levels of stress hormones like cortisol.

Another HUGE benefit for this exhausted mama is improved sleep. It’s a great way to unwind and relax at bedtime. Add some spa music and a glass of wine or a spicy novel you’ve got the perfect take-yourself-on-a-date night.

Feeling tense or dealing with menstrual cramps? Masturbation can provide pain relief! Orgasms can trigger the release of endorphins, which can act as natural pain relievers, soothing tense muscles and reducing cramping. What’s more, some women with chronic pain conditions, such as migraines or fibromyalgia, report temporary pain relief and distraction through masturbation. How freaking amazing are our bodies and brains?!

If you’re looking to improve your sex life in general, masturbation might be the key – especially for women who rarely feel satisfied in the bedroom. Masturbation can help you get more familiar with your body, desires, and sexual responses. And understanding your own body and sexual responses can lead to improved sexual function and satisfaction during partnered sexual activities. 

In fact, because masturbation can help you become more in tune with your sexual desires and preferences, it’s often easier to communicate your needs and desires with sexual partners. Through masturbation, you can ultimately have more satisfying sexual experiences with partners and be better able to guide your partner(s) in providing pleasure.

Another great benefit of masturbation for those of us who are moms is improved pelvic floor health. It’s not uncommon after you’ve had kids to feel like everything is a little wonky “down there”. Don’t worry though, your vagina isn’t stretched out and you’re not “too loose”. But, your pelvic floor may have weakened, and masturbation (along with those kegel’s your mom has been trying to get you to do) might help fix that.

Regular masturbation, especially with orgasm, can help strengthen pelvic floor muscles, potentially reducing the risk of urinary incontinence and supporting overall pelvic health. Masturbation can help stop those pesky leaks when you’re running or jumping? Ummm…yes please!

Feeling low, frustrated or anxious? Masturbation can improve your mood. When you masturbate (and orgasm) there’s a release of all sorts of hormones including testosterone (which increases arousal), along with prolactin, dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin, which are natural mood boosters, among other things. Which means having an orgasm can potentially help to alleviate symptoms of depression or anxiety – and at the very least, can temporarily lift your mood with a little jolt of good-feeling hormones.

That’s not all, though.

As women, we’re often faced with a barrage of messaging about our bodies that leaves us feeling crappy about how we look. Enter masturbation, which can foster a positive body image by giving us opportunities to explore and appreciate our bodies without judgment or external pressure. Orgasms = self-love, and that leads to more confidence.

And if you’re struggling with the thought of masturbation because of your body image or low self-esteem, consider this: giving yourself permission to explore your own body and bring yourself pleasure may be the first step to feeling comfortable in your own skin again.

What a list! Masturbation can be such a valuable tool in our self-care and wellness toolkit. 

It’s important to remember, though, that while masturbation can offer these potential benefits, there is no “one-size-fits-all” approach to sexual health and wellness. You might not find masturbation appealing or you might have preferences and experiences that differ from the general benefits I’ve mentioned. 

It’s all okay. You do you, boo. But if you haven’t yet, don’t be afraid to try masturbation in any or all of these ways to see what benefits it might give you.