Smex Ed

Anal Sex, one of the most taboo topics in the sex world, and one of the topics I receive the most questions on. On my Podcast, the three episodes I dedicated to discussing anal sex are my most downloaded episodes..by a fucking landslide. At Smex Ed Magazine, any time we do a class or an article about anal sex, it’s the most viewed article/the most purchased class of the month. This tells me that our readers are on a quest for more knowledge when it comes to anal sex, and we want to be able to help. 

Each month we put up a toy review, and instead of just reviewing one toy this month, I want to dedicate an article discussing the difference between anal toys and which ones you should begin with if you are contemplating experimenting with anal play.

Before we dive in, we have to discuss the fact that the world of anal toys is, for better lack of a word, massive, and I don’t have the time to talk about every single toy, what it’s used for, who it’s for, etc. If you are looking for more extensive information on the different toys, check out my Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat accounts (all linked below) where I have stories, reels, posts dedicated to this specific topic. For this article specifically, we are going to discuss 3 styles of toys: anal training kit, a good old fashioned butt plug, and a motorized anal butt plug. 

Anal Training Kits 

Anal Training kits are the best thing to purchase if you are contemplating experimenting with anal play of any sorts. Why? Because you never, ever, EVER want to go 0 to 100 the first time you are experimenting with anal anything. The biggest mistake people make is that they jump right into full penetration the first time they explore anal play and it hurts, badly. They don’t practice anal stretching beforehand which leads to a negative experience. 

Anal Stretching: The anus is a muscle, and like a muscle, it needs to work out in order to be able to take in any style of toy. It needs to be stretched, slowly, to be able to accommodate your toy or your partner. This is why anal training kits, like this one below from Too Timid are perfect beginners. 

The kit comes with four different butt plugs that increase in length and girth slightly and have a tapered end for easy insertion. The point is to start with the smallest plug first and work your way up over time to the largest plug. 

Tips: 

1. Grab a really good lube. Lubricate the toy. Spit does NOT count as lube. You want to lubricate the plug until it almost slips out of your hands. This will ensure that it will glide in easy with no pain or friction 
2. Start a tiny bit at a time. Don’t just jam the toy right on up there. We are working on stretching the muscle, so you need to give it time to do so. Start with the tip, insert it a few times, pull it out, repeat the process. Next, do the first ¼ of the toy, take it in and out, then try again. You may not be able to get the full toy in the first session: THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL. When you go to the gym, you don’t just lift 150 lbs you first try, it takes time and patience to reach that ultimate goal. Take your time with the toy. You may use the first size plug for a month or more, that is also normal. You need to give your body time to adjust. 
3. If you feel any pain: STOP IMMEDIATELY and do NOT use numbing cream. I understand the thought process behind numbing creams, but the fact of the matter is, pain is your body’s way of saying STOPPPPPPPP. If you feel it at any time during your play session, stop immediately. Numbing cream numbs the nerves and can cause you to endure rectal damage if you push yourself beyond your limits. 
4. Once you are able to insert the smallest toy fully, use it for a session, without any discomfort, that is when you move on to the next size toy. Remember, this is a marathon not a sprint. This is about strengthening your anal muscle so that eventually you can experiment with anal sex or penetration with a larger toy

**Side Note: There is a common misconception that if you start using larger toys in your anal cavity, it will cause your anus to stretch out permanently. This is a lie that is part of the constant fear mongering bull shit that goes on about anal sex. The anus is a muscle, remember, meaning it can stretch and RETRACT. The second your toy leaves your body, your anus will retract into its original size. 

The Good Ol’ Butt Plug

Now this toy is another stepping stone that gets you more comfortable with anal sex. So, what is a butt plug?

A butt plug is a tapered sex toy which is used for penetrating this anus and can be retained in the anus during a solo session, partner session, etc. A butt plug should ALWAYS have a base, do NOT use butt plugs without one because your anus can literally suck it up. Butt plugs come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and textures. 

Butt plugs are for people who have already mastered anal stretching and are looking for something that is used more for long term play. Butt plugs help assist with anal orgasms or blended orgasms in women. 

This jeweled butt plug from Too Timid, is a metal butt plug that comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. A benefit of using a metal butt plug is that it provides temperature play for the receiver. Pop that baby in the freezer 30 minutes before a session and allow the coolness of the metal to relax your body. 

Tips:

1. Lubrication is key. Yup, this one again, because it is that fucking important. Pick a lubricant that works well with the toy. Remember, if it’s a silicone toy, stay away from silicone lubricants as they will damage the toy.
2. Push out while inserting in: to ease the insertion of a butt plug you want to push your anal muscles out (like you are going to the bathroom) this will help ease the toy into the anal cavity 
3. Removal needs to be slow: When you are done with the session, don’t just yank out the anal plug. Remove it slowly and gently. This is your body, let’s treat it with gentleness. 
4. Too much time: do not wear a butt plug for a long direction of time, you usually want to use it for 20-30 minutes. If you are looking for one that can be worn for longer durations you want to purchase one that is called a wearable butt plug. These toys are specifically engineered for long term use. 

Motorized Anal Butt Plug:

Now this style butt plug refers to any butt plug that has a motor in it, ie: vibrating butt plug, rotating butt plug, pulsating butt plug, a lot of prostate toys fall into this category as well. Motorized butt plugs are meant for those who have experience with butt plugs, more of our experienced players. 

The point of a motorized butt plug is to provide an extra sensation to the anal cavity while the plug is inserted. Let’s look at this vibrating butt plug from Too Timid as an example. 

Now this toy has over 8 vibration settings and the toy ROTATES inside of your anal cavity. It’s tapered on top to ease insertion, textured to provide extra stimulation, and comes with a remote control so that you can switch settings and rotational patterns while the toy is inserted inside of you. 

Tips:

1. You guessed it, you’re so damn smart…LUBRICATION!!! 
2. If you haven’t experienced a rotating toy inside of you before, it can be a little jarring. Try to relax your body and start slowly. If at any point you feel pain or discomfort, turn the rotating toy off immediately. Whenever we are exploring new things sexually, especially stimulation, it may take our body a little time to get used to it. That is completely normal. Give your body the time it needs to adjust 
3. Communication: if you are using this toy during partner play and your partner is controlling the remote, communicate with them during the experience. Tell your partner to take it slowly and when it is becoming too much. The more you communicate with them, the more enjoyable the experience will be 

There you have it, folks. Obviously this is a very small look at anal play toys. We didn’t get into anal beads, prostate toys, etc, but this should at least put you on the right path if you are looking to experiment with anal play of any kind. 

As always, remember, that anal play is SAFE and you are safe in experimenting with it. There is nothing to be ashamed, embarrassed, or feel guilty about. You are exploring your pleasure, which is your right to do. Be safe, use lots of lube, and have open communication with yourself and your partner and I guarantee you will have a good time.