A how-to guide for those interested in exploring pegging

What is pegging?

Pegging is a sexual act where a vulva owner uses a strap on in order to penetrate a penis owner’s anus. Pegging is an act typically done between heterosexual couples and offers a gender dynamic power exchange for the vulva owner to dominate the penis owner. 

What is the difference between pegging and anal sex?

The only difference is the gender power dynamic exchange. Pegging is anal sex but with the use of a toy on a penis owner. The act of pegging is meant to empower the vulva owner into taking a “dominant” role in the sexual act. This is because society has linked being the penetrator as the dominant and being penetrated as submissive.  

Why penis owners find it appealing?

Being pegged is an opportunity for a penis owner to experience a prostate orgasm. The prostate is a gland that is located 2 inches inside the rectum. The prostate is a small, rubbery gland about the size of a ping-pong ball, located deep inside the groin, between the base of the penis and the rectum. It is important for reproduction, because it supplies part of the seminal fluid (semen), which mixes with sperm from the testes. Seminal fluid helps the sperm to travel and survive.

When the prostate is stimulated sexually through penetration, also known as prostate milking, it can lead to a full body orgasm for the penis owner with no refractory period. Meaning, it is the one way a penis owner can experience multiple full body orgasms. A Prostate Orgasm is also named the Super Orgasm due to its intensity on the penis owner. 

The Tabooness of Pegging

Anal sex is a topic that is taboo for both vulva and penis owners. If a vulva owner wants to experiment with anal sex society dictates that she is “slutty”, “dirty”, “sexual deviant” and if a penis owner wants to participate in anal sex society dictates it must mean something about his sexuality. 

I was at a local bar in my hometown one time having a discussion about pegging and anal sex when a woman said 

“I don’t care what you say. If a guy asked me to peg him, I would think he is gay.” 

But why do people believe this? 

Well that is because society has made being penetrated something that an effeminate person would participate in, i.e. vulva owners and homosexual men, when that isn’t the case. Penetration shouldn’t be exclusive to one gender or be the determining factor in one’s sexuality. That is a narrow and close minded perspective. Penetration is an act that can be enjoyed by everyone and it is meant to be enjoyed by everyone. 

Every person on this planet deserves to experience as much pleasure as their body is capable of. Why shouldn’t penis owners be allowed to explore prostate play when it can bring them the most pleasure they have experienced? That is can bring them as close to a vulva owner’s multiple orgasms as they can experience? Why would we deny them that based on outdated gender roles? 

Vulva owner’s have the clitoris, an organ that lies within their vulva that contains 10,000 nerve endings and its primary function is to aid in sexual pleasure. The Prostate is probably as close to a clit as a penis owner is going to have, so why shouldn’t they be able to explore it without shame or making it mean anything about their sexuality? 

Why is pegging appealing to vulva owners?

The act of pegging has been gaining in popularity in recent years due to its empowering impact it has on vulva owners. It allows the vulva owner to take control of the sexual act itself, they get to decide the intensity of play, the rhythm, the cadence, they get to experience a dominating position that they haven’t before. 

Also, with some pegging toys, such as double ended dildos, strapless strap ons, the vulva owner can experience not only dominating their partner, but also sexual stimulation through their vulva as well as strengthen their pelvic floors while keeping the toy inside of them while penetrating their partner. It is exercise. 

Pegging also requires a lot of communication from both partners,before, during and after a session. Vulva owners like this aspect because it allows them to take vocal control of the session as well, communicating to their partner about how they feel and what they should do to maximize pleasure. 

“Does this feel good?”

“Am I going too fast?”

“Is that enough for now, or do you want more?” 

Pegging helps vulva owners become more vocal in the bedroom because they have to communicate to their partner during the session. It empowers them to speak up. 

The How To on Pegging You Need:

Number 1: CONSENT

Pegging isn’t something you jump into without having your partner’s full enthusiastic consent. The act of pegging is intimate and both partners need to be on the same page when it comes to exploring this sexual avenue. 

Number 2: Anal Play BEFORE anal penetration 

If your partner has never explored anal penetration before, you need to start experimenting with anal play before anal penetration. The anus is a muscle, and like a muscle, needs to get warmed up, stretched, and prepared for taking something in. If your partner wants to explore anal sex, start with anal stretching first. 

Anal stretching is the act of preparing the anus to be able to handle a larger object such as a penis or toy. You never want to go 0 to 100 when it comes to penetration of the anus. If you go too much too quickly, you can cause a lot of damage to the anal tissue, and overall have a truly terrible experience, and that is the last thing we want. 

Buy an anal training kit, here is one from Too Timid, the purpose of these style toys is to get your anus used to being penetrated, slowly. You start with the smallest plug and work your way up to the largest plug over time. How much time? Well that is really dependent on your bodies capabilities. Remember, we want to take this slowly to ensure its enjoyable and comfortable. If you need to know how to use an anal training kit, check out my article giving you the steps here.

Number 3: Anal Prep

With all anal play, comes anal prep, why? Because if you don’t…shit happens, literally. Now, we need to have a real talk here, even if you prep your hiney off, there is a slight chance that…shit might happen. 

The anus is the tunnel way for the rid of waste for the body. If you are going to participate in anal play of any kind you need to recognize the risk of having contact with said waste. If someone preps beforehand, it does decrease the likelihood of an accident happening, but there still might be residue left on the toy after removal. 

Now that we had that discussion, let’s get onto the prep

1. Bowel Movement Prior to experience: You want to have a bowel movement at least 12-24 hours before pegging. The closer to the experience, the better. This helps clean your system out before participating in play and decrease the likelihood of accidents happening
2. To Douche or Not to Douche? This is based on your personal preferences. Douching helps eliminate bacteria and waste from the rectum but also can rid GOOD bacteria from your system as well. Have a discussion with your partner and see which you are comfortable with. If you choose to douche, make sure you do it right before the act is about to take place. Looking for tips and tricks on douching? Check out Douching For Dummies Here 
3. Supplies:  Supplies you may need during pegging
   1. Dildo/Strap On/ Toy
   2. Water based lubricant (this is a MUST have) 
   3. Towels
   4. Wipes 

Number 4: Lubrication

In order to participate in anal play of any sorts, you need lubrication. And before you say it, NO! SPIT DOES NOT COUNT AS LUBRICATION. So what type of lubricant should you use?

Regular Anal Sex: Penis into anus

Water based or silicone based lubricant. Water based lubricants tend to be less sticky and work best for sensitive skin, but you need to apply a lot of lubricant. Silicone lubricants tend to last longer and are a bit stickier, but work just as well as water based lubricants. 

Pegging/ Anal Penetration with Toy

Water based lubricants are going to be your best bet here. Why? Because if your toy is silicone and you use a silicone lubricant, it can actually degrade the quality of the toy. No one wants to spend a lot of money on a brand new toy to have to throw it away after a few uses due to the silicone lubricant eating away at it. 

Number 5: Choose Your Weapon (Cue Mortal Kombat Theme Song) 

It’s time to decide what style of toy you will be using for Pegging your partner, and trust me, there are a variety of them to choose from. 

The classic pegging toy is a strap on. Here is your traditional style Strap On. These strap ons are fastened around the thighs and waist and are typically padded to add extra support to the wearer.  

If you are looking for something that pleases both you AND your partner, you could invest in a Strapless Strap On These style toys are meant to be inserted into each partner, adding dual stimulation. The vulva owner places the smaller end inside of them and uses their pelvic floor muscles to penetrate their partner with the other end. The specific toy linked even comes with a remote that one of the partners can hold onto to control the level of intensity and change the vibrational patterns. 

Now if you aren’t into the strap on aspect of pegging, but want a toy to penetrate your partner, any style anal play toy will do. Here is one that is specific for pegging. The toy is wrapped in a soft body like silicone and one partner can hold the plug end while penetrating their partner with the dildo. 

Number Six: Communication

Communication is vital when you are pegging your partner. The anus is a sensitive area and we don’t want to injure or hurt our partner in any way. Here are a few tips to help ensure both partners feel safe and comfortable during play time. 

1. Set boundaries BEFORE play time: have the discussion ahead of time of what is allowed/what is not allowed before entering the pegging domain. What positions are acceptable? What intensity is allowed? Safe words if you need them. Whatever boundaries need to be set, do it before play begins 
2. Take it slow: Remember, don’t go 0 to 100 once that strap-on is fastened on, take things very slowly. Insert the head of the toy first (with lots of lubrication both on the anus AND on the toy) only about an inch inside of your partner, slowly pull it out, insert it again. Ask your partner how it feels and give your partner’s body time to adjust to the object being inserted into it. 
3. The person being pegged HAS to speak up: The person being penetrated needs to communicate to their partner how it feels, if they need them to slow down/speed up, if they are ready to take more of the toy in. You need to be vocal to ensure your that you are safe and that your partner understands how you are feeling 

What are your questions when it comes to pegging? Drop them in the comments below and we can do additional articles or videos specifically answering them for you!