There is a massive misconception when it comes to the idea of “seduction” and that is, that it needs to look a certain way. Society has created this notion of what is considered sexy and when individuals don’t really vibe with that box like construct, they struggle feeling like they can tap into their sexual side, that they can express themselves authentically when it comes to their sexuality, their wants, their desires.
Seduction is not one size fits all, nothing about sex really is. I receive messages all of the time from women asking for seduction tips, tricks, guides, in order for them to use with their significant other or out in the dating world, but the truth is: seduction looks different for everyone. It’s less about trying to mold yourself into a seduction style that is society’s way of seducing and more about finding your own unique seduction style, what makes you feel the sexiest in your body, what makes you feel the most powerful.
Seduction is about finding what you are most comfortable with. It’s about leveraging the aspects of yourself that feel the most unique, because individuality is sexy as fuuuuckkkk. Here are some ways that you can help create your own seductive style.
TURN YOURSELF ON
Yes, you read that right. The most common misconception about seduction is that it’s about all about your partner, tuning into their wants, needs, desires, what turns them on, but that just is not that case. Now don’t get me wrong, obviously you want them to recognize how incredibly sexy you are, you want that acknowledgment, but the sexiest part about you: is that you are confident in your ability to turn yourself on and through body language, a look, a smile you are able to captivate those around you.
True seduction is about recognizing how incredibly beautiful, powerful, strong, angelic (whatever description you feel about yourself) you are and being unapologetic as fuck about it.
Turning yourself on is the key ingredient to being able to turn others on. When a woman is truly turned on, there is a magnetic pull that is undeniable, it can be felt by every single person that she is near. It radiates through every fiber of her being. When she is turned on, the entire world is turned on just by being in her presence.
I get it, you’re probably rolling your eyes at me right now thinking to yourself “I have no idea what turns me on, how the hell am I going to figure that out?” And that my friend, is the million dollar question. That is what this article is truly about, how to turn yourself on so that you can seduce the world around you without even fucking trying. PLOT TWIST, I know!
So, let’s dive in and figure out how to turn on yourself so that you can turn on the world.
TIP #1: THE POWER OF CLOTHING
Now, I know what you are thinking as you read the title for this tip, “Fuck clothes. Nothing ever fits right, nothing feels good, I’m not at the size I want to be yet, I hate shopping” the list goes on and on. I absolutely understand, finding clothes that fit can be the worst experience for anyone’s mental health, but the fact is, in order to turn yourself on, you need to feel good in your skin. You need to “dress the part” of someone who is confident, sexy, respects their body.
I never used to believe that I had style, in fact, I hated trying clothes on at the mall. Every single time I did, it made me feel like shit, hate my body, and just feel fucking sad. But I knew that, in order to feel truly powerful in my body, I had to dress like someone who radiated power and confidence, so I found a different way to shop.
Knowing that going to the mall was a disappointing experience, I decided to bring clothes to me via online shopping. That way, I could try on the clothes in the comfort of my home, under lighting that wasn’t atrocious, in front of my favorite mirror. I could pair what I was trying on with pieces of clothing I already owned, accessories, boots, etc to make it more of an outfit shopping experience so I could get the whole “vibe” of the look I wanted to create.
I know, online shopping isn’t reinventing the wheel, but I did it differently. I went on the app Tik Tok and searched “midsize fashion” since that was the category of my size (I range from a size 10-12) and then started searching through all of the creators to find women who represented the same aspects of my body structure:
- Broad shoulders: looked for influencers who had wide shoulders and a strong chest for shirts/jackets
- Thick thighs: Looked for influencers with more muscular bottom halves of their bodies for pants and boots (I have massive calves, needed some ladies who understood the struggle)
- A belly: Looked for influencers who carried their weight in their midsection as that is where I carry my weight. This way I could see how clothing “hugged” their midsections without shapewear (I don’t like shapewear)
You get the drift. Once I started following all of these women, I started looking at pieces that matched my “style” which took some time, effort, and patience. There were plenty of times where I purchased pieces that I thought I would love, to absolutely hate them, but that is part of the process.
Before I knew it, I started to get a collection of clothing that started making me feel really good in my body. I am someone who loves to be casual, comfortable, but still wanted to radiate power, so I found pieces that did exactly that. I found sweat pants that hugged my ass in the right way and paired them with a chunky kick ass boot, a low cut top, and a “painters” cardigan, that all felt soft on my body but made me feel like I could go out and kick the world right in its dick.
Which brings me to tip 2
TIP 2: ACCENTUATE THE AREAS OF YOUR BODY YOU LOVE
And before you hit me with the “I don’t love any aspect of my body” QUIT THE SHIT. I do not care how much you do not love your body, there is always an aspect of it that you DO love. Whether it’s how full your breasts are, how juicy your ass is, how strong your arms are, there is at least one part of your body that you think is sexy as fuck.
Whatever that part of your body is, accentuate the ever living shit out of it. If it’s your breast, buy bras that make them perky as hell and wear tops that are so low it makes your Mama wanna go to church and pray for you. If it’s your thick thighs, wear jeans that hug them in just the right way, if it’s your arms, go sleeveless year round! Whatever aspect of your body that you adore should be shared with the world.
Why? Because people see it, and they compliment it. Compliments help with confidence. Confidence comes from accepting the aspects of your body that you love and being unapologetic as fuck to show them off. Confidence leads to feeling sexy. Feeling sexy leads to you being more sexually expressive. See where I’m going here?
When you feel good in your body, you naturally ooze confidence and sexuality. You walk a little taller, you keep eye contact a little more, you pull your shoulders back, you sway your ass back and forth when you walk. All things you do unconsciously just because you feel good. The more you feel good about yourself, the sexier you become to not only yourself, but to everyone around you.
TIP #3: EMPOWER YOURSELF THROUGHOUT THE DAY
If you are looking to turn yourself on, ask yourself “what makes me feel powerful?” This will look different for everyone. Sometimes power looks like saying “No, I don’t want to do that” to someone who is asking you for a favor. Other times, it’s going to the gym and doing your first full set of squats with perfect form, Others, it’s allowing yourself to slow down and binge Netflix new show “Sex Life” for 8 hours straight while ordering takeout.
Plain and simple, the more powerful you feel, the sexier you feel.
When you feel powerful in your body, the power radiates and those around you feel it. Ever been in a room and someone walked in and you could just feel the power vibrating from their body. You can’t help but stare, watching them as they own the room just by walking in it, that is true power. It directly influences all of those around you on an unconscious level, making them think to themselves “what is it about them?”
Power looks different on everyone. You can feel powerful when you move your body (dancing, weight lifting, yoga), you can feel powerful setting emotional boundaries with those around you, you can feel powerful sitting at a coffee house on a Wednesday afternoon sipping a latte and writing an article on how to turn yourself on. The key to unlocking your natural power is to ask yourself “what makes me feel powerful” and do that at least once a day.
At first, you will have to make an effort to do it, but the more you are able to tap into the feeling of power throughout the day, the more self aware you will become of what ignites that feeling and the easier it will be to just be powerful rather than it requiring thought.
TIP #4: MIRROR WORK
This is the tip that will most likely feel the most awkward at first, but you need to start adding mirror work into your daily practices. Mirror work is when you stand in front of a mirror, either fully clothed or naked (I suggest the latter) look at yourself, move your body, and gently caress your body.
The point of mirror work is to see how your body moves, reacts to physical touch, it gets you more in tune with yourself. At first, it’s all going to feel very weird. So here are a few tips to get you embracing mirror work
- Start fully clothed and strip in front of the mirror. You don’t have to make it sexual, but slowly remove one article of clothing at a time until you are fully naked in front of the mirror
- Look at your body and rather than going to the aspect of your body that you consider “flaws” look at the parts of your body that you actually like, Once again, don’t come at me with “I hate every aspect of my body” because even if that’s true, you have got to learn to appreciate your body where it’s at right now, even if it’s not where you want it to be.
- Start slowly and gently moving your hands over your body. Caress your breasts, move your hands over your stomach, run your fingers down the sides of your thighs. This is a way to connect with your body, to watch as it reacts to you touching yourself. This is for you to recognize how fucking beautiful you are and how incredible your body is
- If you get turned on….YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT. As you go through this process, the end goal is to get turned on just by looking at yourself. Remember, when you are turned on by you, the whole world is turned on by you, so it’s ok if during this process you get a bit heated. If that is the case, roll with it. If you need to masturbate afterwards, WONDERFUL, nothing is sexier on a woman than that post orgasm glow.
Mirror work will take some practice, so be patient and be gentle with yourself. If the first few times you stop midway through because things just feel “awkward” that is ok, try again the next day. This isn’t about reaching perfection, this is about allowing yourself to actually see yourself. Because if you can’t see your beauty, your sexual prowess, your natural magnetism, how do you expect others to see you? It starts with you.
TIP #5: WORK YOUR VOCAL CHORDS
I can’t take credit for this tip, I found it one day scrolling through Tik Tok and just fucking loved it. When women are meeting a new person for the first time or they are nervous or excited, they tend to increase their voice an octave higher, making their voice sound very “baby” like and in their heads.
I want you to get in front of your mirror again and practice dropping your voice an octave lower instead of higher when you introduce yourself. Watch the video below to see an example of what I am talking about.
Do you hear the difference? When you drop your voice lower, you come off more calm, cool, collected. It radiates confidence. I love using this technique when I talk dirty as well. It provides an aura of confident sexuality, but it took me a while to be able to do this.
Basically I would set my phone up or you can look in the mirror, and I would practice saying very sexually explicit things while using this trick. I would watch my facial expressions and try to keep my face calm and relaxed. This got me more comfortable with being able to express what I wanted sexually in a way that made me feel confident because I knew what I looked like when I was saying it.
Remember, seduction is a unique experience for each and every one of us. If some of these tips don’t feel great, do not do them. My goal is that these tips will help you create your own style of seduction that you feel comfortable with expressing. The more comfortable you are, the more confident you are.
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