Smex Ed

Inviting Another Person Into the Bedroom

Recently, SMEX ED launched a space where you can ask specific questions that you would like the writers of the magazine to answer (you can submit your questions here) and we couldn’t be more excited to dive into the first question that was submitted.

We figured the best person to answer this question was Jessica Aycock, our Certified Licensed Therapist who specializes in helping couple communicate taboo topics such as kinks, sexual exploration, fetishes, etc.

Listen to Jessica’s response in the video below!

At Work & Can’t Watch Her Response?

Don’t worry we got you!!! Read below to see what Jessica discusses in the video:

Decision One:

Do You WANT to Participate?

If yes, skip this paragraph and read below

If no, this is the time to discuss WHY it does not vibe well with you. We understand that this is a vulnerable conversation, but you need to be able to communicate to your partner why you do not want to invite another person into the bedroom.

Your comfortability matters and you need to be open with your partner about why the idea of bringing another person into the bedroom makes you feel uncomfortable.

This is also about having an open discussion about how you can meet in the middle with this topic. Could you possibly find another activity to participate together in sexually that makes both of you comfortable? Maybe this is watching porn (regular or group sex related) together and talking about what turns you on vs doesn’t.

Open up the conversation and be honest with your partner.

Yes, I want to participate?

Ok, so you are down to participate with inviting a third person into the bedroom. Now this turns into a conversation of logistics and boundary setting.

Some questions for you and your partner to address:

• Who is this person going to be?
• Do we have any rules?
• What are what is okay to happen in this situation?
• What is not okay to happen in this situation?
• Are they looking for another relationship or one night or a one time thing?

Get all of this out on the table before bringing another person into the mix. This will ensure that everyone feels seen, valued, RESPECTED, and heard before you are in the thick of it.

As always, SMEX ED is here to provide you a safe space to get your questions answered. We will never share your identity and will ensure that we handle your questions with love and respect.

Have any following up questions about this article?!?! Drop them in the comments below and maybe we will pick a few to answer in another video. Don’t want people to see your questions? Click Here to submit them!