The world of sex toys can be daunting to explore. The variety of toys that are now available for women are incredible, but if you’ve never purchased a toy before, it can be extremely overwhelming.
Do I want a clit vibrator?
What’s the difference between a G Spot Vibrator and a Rabbit Vibrator?
How do I use a dildo?
What if I have never used a toy before, which should I purchase first?
I am struggling with achieving an orgasm with a penetration toy, is that normal?
Questions like these flood my inbox on the daily and I can absolutely understand why. Although there are plenty of toys out there for women, no one educates us on which toys are for what, what type of stimulation they provide, who they are specifically for, etc. Therefore, that is what we are going to discuss in this article today. I will be breaking down 8 different styles of toys for women and giving you all of the education on these toys.
Now, before we dive in, are there more than 8 styles of toys for women…absofuckinglutely. However, for the sake of your time and mine, we are going to just focus on the following toys for this article. If you have any questions regarding any other style of toy, please feel free to drop them in the comments below or send them to the Ask the Smex Ed Writers Page.
Clit Stimulation Toys
Who they are for:
Clitoral stimulation toys are for any person who has a clit. These toys are meant to provide stimulation in the form of vibrations, suction, air pulse technology, to the clitoral hood in order to cause a clitoral orgasm. Clit stimulation toys are optimal for vulva owners because 90% of clit owners can achieve an orgasm via clit stimulation, this is a much higher rate than penetration orgasms which only 18-20% of vulva owners can achieve. Meaning, if you can’t get off via penetration alone, you are part of the majority of vulva owners, not the minority. To ensure you are able to achieve orgasms, look at clitoral stimulation toys instead of penetration toys.
The clit houses 10,000 nerve endings compared to the tip of a penis which only holds 4,000. What does this mean? The clit is SENSITIVE and serves no other function than PURE FUCKING PLEASURE.
If you are a beginner to self pleasure: START HERE. Why? A few reasons, and you can read all about them in my other article Clit Stimulators: The Best Beginners Vibe.
The Different Types
Clitoral Vibrators:
Clitoral vibrators come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but their main function is to send vibrations to the clit in order for blood flow to reach the clit. The clit changes in size the more you become aroused (just like a penis gets hard), the point of the vibrations is to encourage blood flow to reach the clit, for it to engorge, and for you to reach an orgasm. Clitoral Vibrators are some of the first style vibrators that clit owners experiment with. I mean, who hasn’t owned a bullet or a lipstick vibrator that you can easily store away from prying eyes?
The toy below, the Eluna, from Too Timid is an example of a clitoral vibrator. This specific one comes with 10 adjustable vibration settings, can be used to stimulate your clit, nipples, anus, and most importantly comes with a remote. Y’all know how much I LOVE toys that come with remotes. This makes the toy easier to control by yourself or you can even let your partner take the reins for a little spicy fun.
How to use the toy:
If you’ve never used a clitoral stimulation toy, start at the least intense setting first and work your way up. Remember, the clit is sensitive and takes about 20-40 minutes of stimulation to reach its full size and sensitivity level. Take it slow, use the lowest setting, and place the toy on and off of your clit. The reason I suggest “off” your clit is to give your body time to get used to the sensation because it can be quite intense at first.
As you get more comfortable with the feelings the toy is producing, increase the intensity, or change up the stimulation setting (some toys have pulsing settings, vibrations, heart beat, etc) and begin to explore what feels best for you.
Suction Clitoral Toys:
Now these styles of clitoral toys are a little bit different than clitoral vibrators. The point of suction toys are to act as a clit pump. The point of a clit pump is to increase blood flow to the clitoral hood by sucking on it, yes…it will fully latch on to your clit, causing your clit to become engorged faster than your typical clit vibrator toy. The suction cup acts as a vacuum, enlarging the clitoral hood, making it more sensitive to touch and other sensations.
Clitoral pumps are safe for use, just make sure you read the instructions before you use the toy. Also, don’t be leaving the toy on your clit for super long durations of time. These toys are meant to be used for about 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off, for about 3-5 minutes maximum. Once again, this toy is meant to suck on your clit, so at first use, this may feel a little bit “weird” or may startle you. Remember, as long as you are reading the directions, you are safe.
Take the toy below, Duo Tease High Intensity Clit Sucker & Vibrator. This is an example of a clit suction toy paired with a clit vibrator.
How the toy works:
One side of the toy acts as the suction cup to enlarge your clit, while the other side of the toy acts as a vibrator to use once your clit becomes engorged.
Side note: this toy can also be used on your nipples for a little extra added fun.
This toy, in particular, has 12 suction and vibration settings with independent controls for both, meaning you can run them simultaneously. If you are using the toy, start with the clit suction cup, and place it on your clit in 30 second intervals. I’ve used this toy personally, and right away, it might not feel like it’s “sucking” your clit. I remember thinking “it’s not working” and attempting to pull the toy off of my clit…and found out it was indeed working. The suction aspect may feel a little awkward at first and remember, this isn’t really meant to get you off, it’s meant to cause arousal to happen faster so you can then flip the toy and use the vibrating side to stimulate the clitoral hood. Change up the vibration settings to find which one feels best for you and go to town.
If you’ve never used clit suction toys before, this one is great for beginners and was my very first experience with them. The size makes it less frightening than some other clit suction toys I’ve seen and it provided me with a unique and fun experience.
Air Pulse Technology Clit Toys:
I’m a little biased here, but this style of clitoral stimulation toys are my freaking favorite. I own a variety of them, including the Diosa, which we will be discussing in a minute. The biggest selling point of air pulse clit toys are: they don’t cause your clit to go numb: some vibrating toys do this, think of holding a vibrating toy in your hand for a few minutes. It tingles and causes a bit of a numbing sensation that fades once you stop using the toy. Number two: air pulse toys are known to give you a very fast, very intense, style of clitoral orgasms.
The way it works is that the toy delivers air pulses to your clit with no direct contact with the clit. Quick bursts of air flow through a suction pad that sits flush inside a circular nozzle, often referred to as the mouth, and create pleasurable pulsing waves. Now, don’t get this confused with a suction toy, because air pulse toys do not suck on the clit, but pushes air OUT at the clit. These style toys are meant to mimic the sensation of oral sex, it’s like a combo of sucking, blowing, pressure, and vibrations all at one time, hence, the intense orgasms it produces.
When I state these toys are intense…I am not being overdramatic: they are extremely intense.
If you’ve never used an air pulse toy before, know this: you will cum extremely quickly. I am talking 30-45 seconds in some cases. The Diosa is one of my favorite air pressure toys on the market.
How the toy works:
Once again, start at the lowest setting when using a clit air pulse toy. With the Diosa, it has 10 functions of escalation and pulsating patterns. Start with level one, buckle the fuck up, and get ready for an extremely pleasureable experience. This toy in particular has ticklers inside the opening that deliver added sensations to rock your world.
Turn the toy on, go to the lowest setting, place it on your clit for a few seconds to see how it feels. Remember, this is meant to provide an intense feeling to the clit, and that intensity is safe. If the toy is “too much” gently pull the toy away for a few seconds and then go back in again. What’s great about the Diosa are the pulsing patterns. There are a few that pulse, give you a 1-2 second break, and then pulse again. These settings are PERFECTION especially for a newbie to air pulse toys.
G-Spot Vibrators
The G Spot, a debated topic in the Sex Education world: does it exist? If it does, does it exist in ALL vulva owners or not? There are studies that debate both ends of the spectrum, making it a controversial topic in the sex education realm. However, sex toy companies have hundreds of toys dedicated to help vulva owners discover their own G-spots.
So how do you find your G-spot? Well it’s located two inches within your vaginal canal. Some studies say that it feels like a soft walnut size sponge, others say it’s more of a “zone” than an actual spot, but G-spot toys are built to hit you right where you need it. The G-spot orgasm is an intense orgasm and is one of 3 styles of vaginal orgasms that a vulva owner has the potential to produce.
Now remember what I said earlier in the article, not every single vulva owner can orgasm from penetration alone, so if you are of those vulva owners, pair a G-spot vibrator with your favorite clitoral stimulator or opt for a G-Spot vibrator that has a dual function, like the one we will be discussing below.
Solo G-Spot Vibrators
These vibrators come in a variety of sizes, remember the G spot is located only 2 inches inside of the vaginal canal so these style toys can be quite compact or on the larger size. My biggest piece of advice when starting to use penetrative toys: pick whatever size you are most comfortable with. Start smaller (2-3 inch toy) and then work your way up to something larger once you get more comfortable.
The toy below The Rose G-spot Vibrator is a 7.5 inch toy that has an angled head to help stimulate the G-spot. The main function of this toy is to provide vibrations to the g-spot as you insert the toy in and out of your vaginal canal.
Side note: ALWAYS use lubrication when inserting a toy inside of you, even if you have your own natural lubrication.
How to use the toy:
The best way to use penetrative toys is to warm yourself up first. Whether it’s by talking dirty to your partner, watching porn before masturbation, participating in oral sex, playing with a clit vibrator, whatever tickles your fancy, warm yourself up. This will help your body relax enough to make the insertion of the toy easier for you.
Using lube, insert the toy about an inch inside of you, especially if you are a first time user. Pull the toy out, stick the toy back inside of you, two itches this time, pull it out. Rinse and repeat until the toy is completely inside of you. Once it is inside, go ahead and turn it on and feel the vibrations take place against your G-spot. Some people prefer to hold the toy inside of themselves, some prefer to continue with a thrusting motion, whatever works for you, do the damn thing. There is NO WRONG WAY to self pleasure, let’s be very clear about that. Let yourself be free of doubt and any fears you may have. Check in with your body and allow yourself to feel the pleasure you deserve to feel.
Dual Action G-Spot Vibrators
The Julian G Spot Vibe and the Ultimate Silicone G-Vibe are two examples of dual action G Spot Vibrators. These toys are designed for vulva owners who struggle achieving an orgasm via penetration alone. These toys vibrate the G-spot while adding additional clitoral stimulation to help achieve orgasm. If you are someone who can get off via penetration these toys provide a way for you to be able to reach a blended orgasm. A blended orgasm is when two or more of your erogenous zones are being stimulated at one time. You can find more about the 12 Types of Orgasms a Vulva Owner can produce in our Smex Ed Class of the Month Subscription.
If the size of The Rose G-spot Vibrator scared you off a bit the Julian G Spot Vibe might be a better fit for you.
How the toys work:
Both the Julian G Spot Vibe and the Ultimate Silicone G-Vibe provide a vibrating stimulation to the G-spot during insertion, but both also add clit vibrations into the mix. The Julian G Spot Vibe provides an angled G-spot bulb and textured clit stimulating nubs for its users, while the Ultimate Silicone G-Vibe provides 10 functions of vibrations and pulsations to your G-spot and your clit.
Just like The Rose G-spot Vibrator use plenty of lubrication and insert the toy slowly, an inch at a time, until you can fully take the toy in. A blended orgasm can feel intense, and remember that intensity is completely safe and normal. Try to breathe through the orgasm, clear your mind, and allow your body to do what it naturally wants to do.
Rabbit Vibrators
The rabbit vibrator, made popular by the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte first discovers its powers and locks herself away for days to play with the toy, causing an intervention by Carrie, Samantha, and Miranda. The toy is a dual stimulation toy similar to a dual action G-spot vibrator, but the clit stimulator typically is shaped like a rabbit, hence the name, rabbit vibrators.
These vibrators can vary in length, but typically run on the “larger size” consisting of a shaft between 5-9+ inches long. While G-spot vibrators target the G-spot alone, rabbit vibrators tend to give a more “all around” stimulation, depending on their depth, they can provide incredible cervical orgasms to their users as well as clitoral ones.
Rotating Rabbit Vibrators:
There are typically two styles of rabbit vibrators out there: thrusting and rotating. This #1 Rabbit Rotating Vibrator comes with a rotating shaft and spinning beads, located inside the shaft, that help massage your vaginal walls to create an intense stimulation. The rabbit ears, tickle your clit, and can be used alone to warm yourself up, and with the shaft to provide a dual action vibrator. This toy provides 6 modes of rotation and 7 unique vibration functions for you to explore yourself with.
Rabbit vibrators tend to run on the “more expensive” side of the toy world, typically ranging from $80-upwards of $200 depending on the quality of materials used and the distributor.
Thrusting Rotating Vibrators
Thrusting vibrators act a little differently than rotating vibrators. The point of thrust vibrators is to mimic the sensation of a partner thrusting inside of you during sex. This Thrusting Vibrator thrusts AND rotates for double the sensation inside your vaginal canal. It provides the same rabbit like clit stimulation as the rotating toy does, but adds a little extra spice with its thrusting abilities.
For my ladies who like to take their toys inside and out of them to mimic a thrusting motion, this is the toy for you. Insert the toy inside of you, turn it on, and feel it thrust against you over and over until you are able to reach climax. Although the length of the toy may look like a lot, remember typically only 6-8 inches are the insertable part of the toy. For example, the Thrusting Vibrator, is 10 inches total, but only 5.5 inches are insertable, and the toy comes with 12 vibrating and pulsating functions and 4 different thrusting speeds so you can find the cadence that you desire.
How to use the toys:
Like all penetrative toys, you want to warm yourself up before inserting the toy and use a good lubricant. I prefer water based lubricants due to their non-sticky nature, but also because if you use a silicone lubricant on your toys, it can damage them. Who would want to spend $200 on a toy to get 3 uses out of it because their lubricant disintegrated the material, not me.
Start by just using the rabbit on its lowest intensity on your clit to warm your body up. Once you are ready, lubricate the toy, and begin inserting it slowly inch by inch again. Once the toy is fully inside of you, explore by turning it on and feeling the rotating beads inside of you. Add the clit stimulation back in or increase its intensity to give yourself a blended orgasm.
Dildos
Last, but not certainly least, in the sex toy world are dildos. A dildo is the name given to a sex toy that is typically phallic in appearance and is intended for sexual penetration during masturbation or sex. Dildos can be stand alone, meaning without adding vibrations or stimulation of any kind, or some provide additional stimulation to the vaginal canal.
Suction dildos are dildos that have a cup at the end of the toy that is meant to be stuck to a surface to hold the toy in place as you use it. Common places to attach the toy to are a bathroom floor, bathtub, shower wall, counter top, chair, toilet seat, basically any surface area within your home.
The reason they are so popular is because they mimic penetrative sex while leaving your hands free to explore your body or to add other toys, for example a clit stimulator. Dildos tend to be the most “life-like” looking sex toys and can vary in size from 5 inches to upwards of 9+ inches depending on the distributor.
Curved Dildo
This #1 Curved Suction Cup Dildo is meant to have a natural look and feel. The dildo is super flexible which means it can be used for all body shapes and sizes. The veining and texture detail is meant to mimic the actual feel of a penis, and the curve allows the toy to reach all of your erogenous zones.
Dildo toys are best for the vulva owners who want a toy that provides them the ability to ride it. You can place the suction on any surface and ride it just like you would your partner. Being on top also helps increase the likelihood of a vulva owner achieving a cervical orgasm, since it’s the deepest penetrative orgasm one can achieve.
Although this Clear Luminous Firm Dual Density isn’t as lifelike looking at the Curved Suction Cup Dildo it provides a more realistic feel. I have spoken to friends who tend to steer away from dildos because the lifelikeness of them “creeps them out” which I understand and respect. This Dual Density isn’t as lifelike looking, but has a firm indeed core and a softer outer layer to provide a more lifelike feeling dildo. It provides the same suction as the curved dildo, but doesn’t look exactly like a penis. It’s really all about your preferences, folks, the look of some toys turn people off, and that is ok.
How to use the toys:
- Warm yourself up prior to toy insertion
- Use LOTS of lubrication, yes even if you are naturally lubricated
- Suction the toy onto a FLAT STURDY surface. You don’t want to be placing it onto anything that moves a lot and can cause you injury
- Depending on how the toy is suction either squat, move back onto, sit, place the toy inside of you slowly, inch by inch
- Begin to “ride” or thrust onto the toy.
- Use additional clitoral stimulators to provide extra sensations
and remember…
Sometimes, it honestly just comes down to trial and error. You buy a toy you think you will like, you test it out, you either like it or you don’t. There are plenty of times where I bought toys thinking I would be obsessed with them, just to find out they don’t tickle my fancy. Other times, toys I had low expectations for, knocked my socks off.
Hopefully this article at least gave you some additional education on what these styles of toys are meant to do for you. When my followers ask me where to start, I always suggest clit stimulators because they are beginner friendly, but provide more than enough intensity to get you.
If penetration toys aren’t your thing, that’s ok too. The world of toys is so vast that everyone can find something that fits their bodies just right
If you have any additional questions about toys, feel free to leave them in the comment section and I will do my best to answer them.
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